The Bizarre Adventures of Loki
by Chopped Lettuce
Summary: A series of drabbles about Loki and his life adventures.
1. A Pink Gift

Summary: Loki is confused by this strange gift

Characters: Loki, Thor

Notes: Decided to write a series of short drabbles and this idea appeared. Enjoy.

* * *

He held it between his index and thumb with the most perplexed look on his face. The color was garish and bright. It was soft, fuzzy, and a little squishy when clutched in both hands. Large ears flopped over a red button nose and black button eyes. It took effort to speak as he was unsure what to say about this strange gift. "What do you call this my brother?"

Thor calmly chewed his apple and gave a shrug of one broad shoulder. "I think Tony called it a bunny."

"And what is the purpose of this bunny." Loki said as he sat down next to his brother on the couch. He squished the furry bunny and flinched from the sound it made.

"Mama!"

Another shrug and a loud crunch of the apple. "To cheer you up? I am not sure exactly as he does have the most peculiar sense of humor for a mortal."

"I see. " Loki squeezed the bunny again and shook his head. Tossing the rabbit in his brother's lap, he ignored the slight squawk Thor made as he flinched his apple. Finishing it off quickly, he smiled brilliantly and watched blue eyes widened in indignation. It was the first gift he had been given in a long time by his brother and it made him feel warm inside. Maybe even a little loved. Still it was a kind gesture on Thor's part, but there was something that bugged him.

"So brother what sort of gift does one give the Man of Iron for giving me a pink bunny that calls me Mama?"


	2. Pink Bunny at The Mall

My turn at this I think… enjoy more pink bunnies!

Summary: Loki and the Avengers go out for a pleasant shopping trip... sort of... not... quite...

Characters: Loki, Thor (and sorta Iron Man & Captain America)

* * *

He wouldn't say things had gotten out of hand… not precisely, because well. Chaos and mischief and the like were his 'thing' (as those of Midgard might say), were they not? So what if even he had not expected the fight to lead them here, or for it to… devolve in such a manner. He was still causing mayhem and a bit of strife for his brother and his allies, and that, in the end, was all that mattered sometimes.

As he dodged throughout the department store, Loki couldn't truly keep his laughter at bay. The sight of the Iron Man crashing into a full display of lacy women's undergarments was hilarious, as was the flustered way the good Captain attempted to quickly usher away women (in various states of undress) from the fitting rooms. The screams and frantic dashes of civilians occupied just a meager portion of his mind, this delightful performance by the Avengers taking up the rest.

His laughter was rudely interrupted when something collided with his face, and were he not as graceful as he was he would have perhaps… possibly, fallen onto his backside. In indignation he grabbed at the (furry?) object that'd dared to strike him, and was met with… with…

A blank eyed pink little… what was this… rabbit? He stared at it in confusion, tilting it this way and that, floppy ears swaying, as if he couldn't really understand what was going on. His brother's booming laughter quickly connected the dots in his mind, and he looked at Thor in indignation. "You would dare to throw this at my face!"

Thor's grin was cheeky, utterly amused, and so very reminiscent of their boyhood days. Loki tried very hard to keep his lips from quirking into a matching grin of his own. Now was not the time for happy nostalgia.

"Would you rather it have been Mjolnir?" Thor chuckled back, and Loki narrowed his eyes and smirked.

Holding the bunny high, infusing it with his power until beady black glass eyes glowed green, he thrust the stuffed toy back. "Go my minion!" He shouted, giggling in glee as the now animated rabbit attempted to hug Thor's face off.


	3. Pepper to the Rescue

Summary: Sometimes asking for help might be a good idea

Characters: Loki, Pepper

A white keyboard went sailing through the air before slamming against double paned glass. Cracks scattered across the window like a spider web, but the glass did not break. Broken keys littered the floor. A black leather chair whizzed by crashing into the pale green wall and embedding itself into it. Another object was tossed through the air and scrapped across the wooden floor with a loud boom. More glass tinkled across the floor as broken pieces of the monitor spread everywhere. Papers flew around an enraged man as if in the middle of a hurricane causing his hair and cape to fly around him furiously.

"Loki?" a muffled voiced asked from the door.

The hurricane stopped and the papers slowly fluttered to the floor. Taking a deep breath, Loki carefully smoothed back his black hair and straightened his clothes. He snapped his fingers to stop the small green fires scattered around his room and ignored the rest of the mess. Walking to the door, he opened it carefully and pasted on a fake smile.

"What can I do for you, Lady Pepper?"

Cool blue eyes regarded him calmly. "JARVIS informed me that you were having a bit of trouble with your computer and asked me to assist you."

Loki's eyes narrowed in annoyance about interfering AI's. "I thank you for your assistance, but I do not acquire it at this time." he said smoothly.

"I see." A small smile appeared on her lovely face. Turning around, she strode down the hallway before coming to a stop. "Oh and Loki?"

The God of Lies raised one eyebrow in question while his lanky form leaned against the door frame. "Yes?"

Spinning on one golden heel she turned to face the god and gently pushed back her long ginger hair that spilled over her shoulders. "Did you try logging into your email before destroying the room in a fit of pique?"

A dumbfounded look appeared on Loki's face. "No I did not."

"Well next time I or JARVIS offers our help then please accept it. " Pepper said with a grin.


	4. God of Spam

Characters: Loki, Thor, Tony

Summary: Loki – God of Chaos, Mischief, Spam emails…

* * *

It was in the midst of battle that Loki appeared before Thor, not the source of the massive city battle _this_ time. With deft ease he seemed to ghost alongside his brother, never in the way when the god of thunder swung his mighty hammer. "Thor!" He greeted, as if they weren't habitually on different sides of the battlefield. Thor's eyes widened a bit, surprise and confusion on his face.

"Brother? What are you doing here?"

Loki grinned, as innocent as he could manage these days. "I have heard you have at last obtained an email address, I wish to have it!"

Thor went very still, a wary yet hopeful look crossing his features. "You… you would engage in the email with me?"

"Indeed!" Loki quipped, eager and smiling so wide his teeth nearly shone like a shark.

Thor looked torn, as if expecting this to be a trick, yet desperately hoping for this to be a sincere desire to reconnect. Loki toned down his grin, trying to remember what it felt like to be sincere and honest with his not-true brother. It was actually a little bit difficult.

"I… understand… if you would prefer not to… I… I was merely excited… at the thought of perhaps… ah but it was stupid of me…"

- . -

After the battle was over, Tony couldn't help but stop Thor. He'd seen Loki pop up on the battlefield, noticed that there'd been words exchanged and, he thought, a slip of paper. The vaguely hopeful look upon the thunderer's face was actually setting off more alarms in his head than anything else. Asking, the alarms proved to be quite warranted.

"My brother wished for my email, which I have granted to him."

Tony would have face palmed if he hadn't been in his suit. Instead… "JARVIS? Tighten up the spam filters… double check all firewalls… and cancel Thor's email account…"


	5. A Pretty Gem

Title: A Pretty Gem

Summary: Loki shows off his stuff

Characters: Loki/Thor

Notes: Shape shifting and a kiss

The gem was held up to the light and a spectrum of colors were brilliantly revealed. Each time the gem was turned the audience they gasped in awe. It was set as a giant tear drop inside a platinum setting and each link glinted on the black velvet display it rested on. Matching earrings dangled through the velvet holes and twinkled merrily .

"How much is that gem?" One man yelled in excitement.

"Yes I must have it! It will go well with my diamonds." A snooty lady exclaimed.

A fat man waved his arm. "Let me own it first. My beautiful wife would love it!"

Many voices rose in an uproar as they each tried to compete for the gem. The announcer looked around in confusion as he tried to quite the crowd and restore order.

A thunderous boom echoed around the auditorium and all eyes looked around for the strange sound. Light shone down onto the stage as a beautiful woman strutted out into the stage with her glowing pale skin and luscious curves. Black eyeliner circled almond shaped green eyes and red lipstick adorned her pouty lips. Black ringlets of hair cascaded down her back and her little black shimmery dress left little to the imagination. Her low cut dress had many of the audience lusting over her ample bosom and stirred jealously in others. She twirled around the display case and soon the gems shone around her neck and ears. It stood out against her creamy pale skin and further enhanced the green of her eyes.

Voices that had been paralyzed during the woman's appearance, suddenly grew even louder then before. A riot soon occurred as lust filled men and women tried to run towards the woman. Chaos reigned and soon fighting broke out in the crowd.

A contended smile settled on the woman's mouth as she gently caressed the gems. She did love causing chaos and mayhem in her wake. Turning around, she slowly strode passed the panicking announcer and faded from view. Reappearing on the roof, she grasps the necklace and looks at it in consideration.

"Admiring your new jewelry Loki?"

Green eyes clashed with blue. "But of course dear Thor."

An annoyed sigh left the Thunder Gods lips as he leaned against the brick wall. "You should not steal brother. It is unbecoming of a god."

Loki smirked as she strolled over to her brother and leaned into his chest. "But its so much fun and I do gain such pretty trinkets."

"Trinkets that you do not need." Thor shakes his golden head in disappointment.

"Who says I don't need them." Loki purred while stroking one manicured finger down his brother's bearded cheek. "Why this trinket goes well with my outfit don't you think?"

She laughs at Thor's resigned smile and wraps slender arms around his neck. Kissing him quickly, she gives him a saucy wink and whisks them both away in a glittery sparkle of magic.


	6. No Smokescreen

Characters: Loki (tiny bit of Thor)

Summary: Loki is not your sidekick...

* * *

It was destruction… chaos… glorious in its complexity, wonderful in the seemingly endless random facets and tiny scenarios it cause. Loki could only grin, a smile so wide it nearly slit his face in two, and admire what he had done this day. Oh the Avengers and his stupid not-brother would be here soon enough. 'Cleaning up' his mess, setting things 'right'. It would take them a while yet, though, and in near manic bliss, Loki turned to survey his handiwork.

He froze in place, utterly stunned, when he saw it.

Now… he wasn't opposed to other appreciating what he did… but taking advantage of it? Using him as if _he_ were simply a useful distraction for… for… for…

For petty shoplifting?

Green fire nearly burned off his fingertips as he watched the young teen use _his_ chaos as an excuse to loot… what… some cigarettes and magazines from a liquor store? He was an acid green shade at the teen's side in moments, clicking his tongue in disgust. "Haven't even gone for some alcohol? Nor any food?"

The stupid mortal at least had the sense to freeze, and oh yes how Loki's smile grew once more to see proper fear in those eyes. "Oh yes mortal… I noticed you. And I am no one's… _tool_. Least of all some Midgardian _ant_!"

Loki was nowhere to be found when the Avengers actually arrived, but the ravings of the half mad with terror teen had Thor scowling. Loki hadn't killed the boy… but even the god of Thunder had to cringe as the teen, sheet white and trembling like a leaf in a windstorm, stammered out the warped revenge Loki had inflicted upon him. Truly, Loki's madness was growing worse.


End file.
